


Crocodile Dundee 3

by TimesBeingWhatTheyAre



Series: Growing Up (and the ways it hurts) [3]
Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Episode Tag, Family, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Season 6 Spoilers, So6e14 Last Words, light h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre/pseuds/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre
Summary: A brief look at 6x14 'Last Words' from Barney's perspective
Series: Growing Up (and the ways it hurts) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772482
Kudos: 28





	Crocodile Dundee 3

When Barney had first heard the news of Marshall’s dad’s death, he had been devastated for his friend.

He’d never met the guy, but Marshall told the group stories about his father the whole time, enough for Barney to understand just how much Marvin had meant to Marshall, and to see how much of his friend was modelled around his dad.

It was an odd feeling.

Barney had always cared a lot about who his dad was, had chased every lie and half-baked line with a veracity that elicited pity from those around him, no matter how much he liked to pretend that he couldn’t care less.

Growing up without a dad had made him who he was, just the way that Marshall’s dad had made Marshall who he was. And there was hardly a day that Barney really, truly thought that he was a better man than Marshall.

No one was a better man than Marshall. It was just part of his personality.

Barney had agreed to come to the funeral immediately, the whole group knowing they wanted to support Marshall and pay their respects to the man who had raised him, but the thing was, Barney had no idea how to handle feelings.

His own feelings were a mess. He tended to deal with those by bottling them up, downing a couple of bottles and sleeping his way around town.

That wasn’t how Marshall did things.

So Barney turned to the only other solution he could think of- humour. Ted was on board with the plan, which meant it was either brilliant or awful, but nothing they could think of could make Marshall laugh.

He was really hung up on the ‘last words’ thing.

“What would your dad’s last words have been?” Marshall asked them all, and Barney swallowed hard, not liking to dwell on the topic, and stiffening up more and more as each of the others told their stories.

He wondered. What would his father’s last words have been?

He used to think that he’d never know.

But if what Uncle Jerry had written at the museum was true…then Barney’s father’s last words might have simply been ‘goodbye’. He wondered if that was worse than nothing.

There was an odd silence that fell after everyone had finished talking, and Barney didn’t think for once before he spoke. “Man, I always thought I had it rough, not really knowing my dad, but…now I realise at least I’ll never have to suffer like this.”

Even as Barney spoke, he realised it was possibly the most honest he’d ever been with his friends. It made him feel vulnerable. He didn’t like it.

He moved on quickly to more videos.

But the more he and Ted tried to make Marshall laugh, and the more they failed, the more Barney felt a burning sense of uselessness. He couldn’t be there for Marshall when he needed it, and what else was a best friend meant to do?

Barney’s problem never changed. He felt, and felt so much that it hurt, but he didn’t know what to do with it.

In the church, he’d meant to be calm and a supportive friend for Marshall, but the stories from Marshall’s family just made him wonder.

He tried with all his might not to cry, but it was a losing battle. The best he could do was just continue, and pretend like his eyes weren’t red and puffy, and like his cheeks weren’t streaked with tears.

“Lame,” Barney’s voice cracked, but Ted and Robin weren’t in any position to criticise.

Marshall stood up and went into the graveyard, and they followed, as friends did.

And Marvin’s last words were “I love you,”

Lily immediately hugged Marshall, and Barney moved over quickly, feeling the need to comfort him too, but backing off as he realised he didn’t belong in the intimate hug. He belonged on the outside.

Ted put his hand on Marshall’s back, the old best friends, and Robin stood off to Marshall’s other side, tears streaming down her face just as surely as they fell down Barney’s.

They saw one another, and Robin helplessly quirked the corner of her lips up, and Barney knew his eyes were soft in commiseration.

Eventually Marshall recovered, and they walked back in, everybody carefully not watching them as they retook their seats, and Marshall told his story about Crocodile Dundee 3.

And he laughed.

Barney couldn’t stop thinking about Marshall’s previous words though. He couldn’t stop thinking of ‘best friend’ and ‘hero’, and all the things a dad was meant to be to their child, and all the ways in which Barney wished he could know his father.

It ate at him, even when he returned home, and he was lying on his bed, looking sightlessly up at the ceiling, and he knew finally that the time was right.

He got up slowly, picking up his phone, and walked over to the window-seat.

He sat down.

“Hey mom? I’m ready to meet my dad,”


End file.
